t&t plus six

Happy Monday, everyone!

I just received a call from our nurse.  She said that only four eggs were mature yesterday, but that six eggs fertilized, which means that 2 of those underdeveloped eggs decided to wake up and join the party.  So...that means we have six little babies.  Six.  Six!!!  I know, I know, I'm not medically considered pregnant, but I consider each one of these little embies (embryo+babies) a life and my baby.  We are already heartbroken to know that it is highly improbable for all six to survive...but we know that God is the Creator of all life, so we are going to honor their lives, no matter how brief they may be, as best we can. 

Frankly, I was wrestling all morning with the fact that we could have up to 14 embies today, and what we would do if all of them, or even if only 10 of them made it through...we'd probably end up on some TV show called T&T Plus Ten.  But I'll admit that when I first got the news from the nurse, I was a bit disappointed.  Now that I've had a chance to process the news a bit, I'm really excited and grateful that God chose to fearfully and wonderfully make each of these six embies, and I know He loves them even more than we could even imagine we could love them.

This morning, I meditated on one of my favorite Psalms...Psalm 139, and it captured so beautifully how I am feeling today as I pray for my little embies:

Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,"
even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.

Amen. :)

eggs over easy

We got 14 eggs!  Praise the Lord!  The doctor said that the average number of eggs retrieved is 10-12, and called me an overachiever.  I thought...."I'm not an overacheiver!"  Of course, then I heard him tell the woman next to me that they retrieved 20 eggs from her, so I felt a little sad.  HAHA.  I guess I am an overachiever. :)

I still have a considerable amount pain, so I'm not up to writing a lot right now....will update about the procedure tomorrow.  Currently, the little eggies are hanging out with Tom's spermies in a glass (hence, in vitro) petri dish, and we'll find out how many eggies/spermies make it to the embryo stage tomorrow.  :)

shots, shots, shots!

Last night's trigger shot went really well--Shot Man deserves his nursing certificate.  He's become a pro at injections and it barely hurt! :)  That said, PRAISE THE LORD that there are no more injections left for this cycle.  It occurred to me, as I was cleaning up the empty boxes left over from all of the meds I took, that I should have taken a picture of the scary sight that barely arrived (due to Snowmaggedon) about 4 weeks ago.  But I didn't because I almost fainted when I saw everything.  So I went online to find some pics of the mountains of meds that I received in a box that looked like this:

Here's the closest picture I could find of the contents with Bravelle instead of Gonal-F, and without a lot of the syringes and needles I received or the Endometrin that I'll have to take over the next couple of weeks (which may explain some of the horror I felt as I was inventorying all of the drugs to make sure I received everything):

And here is what I have left:

Yay!  And all of these drugs made my vineyard, I mean, ovaries look something like this:  

And all of this explains why I feel like poop this morning.  I had a really restless night (I think that trigger shot gave me some really scary, wacky dreams) and it hurts to do anything but lay down.  So I'm missing a church meeting today and putting myself on self-imposed bedrest. :(

As for tomorrow, we are due at Shady Grove's Rockville office (where they perform all of their surgical procedures for all Shady Grove patients) at 7:45 am.  I'll get an IV for sedation and connected to monitoring equipment (e.g. heart and oxygen monitor).  Then they'll insert an ultrasound probe so the doctor can see the follicles on the ultrasound monitoring screen...then he will pass a small needle through my vaginal wall and into each follicle and remove all of the fluid (and hopefully eggs!) from the follicle.  He'll then pass the fluids to the embryologist who will take them into the lab to extract the eggs and let them "mingle" with Tom's little guys. :)

I'm a little scared...when we did this with one egg last year, I remember being under and then kind of screaming during the procedure because it hurt.  I think I need to tell my anesthetist that tomorrow...right? Because from all of the forums I've read, I should be knocked out and shouldn't feel a thing....

Alrighty then...the big day's almost here, and...no more shots!!!  YAY!

so just pull the trigger

Well, folks...today's report is proof positive that God answers very specific prayers...as we prayed, we will be triggering tonight and the egg retrieval will take place on Sunday morning at 9:15 am.

That means that tonight will be (hopefully) the last shot that Shot Man has to give me.  This is the hCG trigger shot, which is a dose of the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin, which normally is produced by the body after implantation of a fertilized egg into the uterine lining. Basically, this is what gives the eggs that final push to maturity and causes the follicles to release their eggs.  Shot Man has to give me this shot tonight, exactly 36 hours before the egg retrieval.

I feel really, really bloated.  It's a really unpleasant feeling, and it hurts just to walk.  I am looking forward to just hanging out and relaxing all weekend in my velour track suits--which Tom hates, but I LOVE.  You know you want one. ;)

Oh, just for recordkeeping purposes, today's report:

Follicles: 23.6mm, 21.1mm, 19.2mm, 17.2mm, a few at 16mm, 15mm, and 14mm
Lining: 18.6mm
Estrogen: 3000 (a little high, so we're doing half the dose of the hCG shot)

Trigger shot occurs as 9:15 pm tonight.  Please pray for me and Tom--this is the most difficult of all the shots because it is an intramuscular injection (right in the buttocks), and from what I remember last year, it hurt....

Thanks, everyone!  I will try to describe the egg retrieval process tomorrow...otherwise, I'll try to update on Sunday!  TGIF!

close, but no cigar

Well, I went to my appointment this morning, and spoke with the doctor who examined me, and she said everything will be okay.  I talked to my primary nurse, too, and she said it'll be fine.  I had to get some more medication today...but it's all taken care of now, so I feel better. :)

The follicles are taking their sweet ol' time getting to the magic size.  I have one good one at 19mm, 17mm, and 16mm, and many small ones trailing behind.  Our estrogen level is at 1900, which is right where it should be for a trigger.  So we're close to triggering, but not tonight.  It's very possible that we'll trigger tomorrow or, if not tomorrow, on Saturday.  Let's pray it's tomorrow--otherwise, I'll have to take Monday off.

I'll let you know of any more details if I hear of them!  Thanks for checking in!

OMG

Well, I went again this morning for bloodwork and ultrasound.  Today's report:

Follicles: 1 at 18mm, 1 at 16.5mm, a few at 13mm, 1 at 11mm, and a couple at 10mm

Lining: 14.5mm (the nurse again declared, "perfect!")

Estrogen: 1510

We got instructions to decrease the Gonal-F to 150 and keep the other meds at the same dosage levels.  We had a bit of a scare tonight because we didn't realize that we are out of Menopur.  It was a stressful 10 minutes, as Tom called the doctor's office (I was a stunned into a state of paralysis) and we waited for the on-call doctor to call us back.  Fortunately, the doctor said that this is a common occurrence and told us to up the dosage of Gonal-F to 225...she assured Tom that Gonal-F and Menopur do the same thing...I am skeptical, though, because they have had Tom inject me with both for the last week and a half!  And if it's true, then they are really cruel because the Menopur is SO painful.  I guess I'll just have to trust the doctor at this point.  And I'm going to have to get some more drugs from the doctor's office tomorrow.  Sigh.

I feel like there is a balloon slowly inflating inside of my stomach.  It is the most lovely feeling in the world....:/

Well--I will be back tomorrow with my latest report after my morning appointment.  I'm pooped--that was way too much excitement for one night.  Good night!

new kid on the block...

I started my new job yesterday...great timing, right?!? I applied for this job back in September and, in typical big government bureaucratic fashion, it only took them 6 months to bring me on board (I got my offer in November...haha!). Anyway, when I finally got my start date and found out that my egg retrieval and embryo transfer would take place during my first two weeks at work, I was REALLY nervous...but I called my new supervisor and let him know before I came on board and he was really understanding. I didn't tell him that I'm undergoing IVF treatment, and he didn't ask. Tom and I are so thankful for my job opportunity for many reasons and, in retrospect, we realize that if we had gotten pregnant sooner, it is very possible that I wouldn't have even applied for this job!  I miss my friends at DOT dearly, though...I feel a little lost without them!

Anyway, I went in for bloodwork and ultrasound today. The nice nurse printed out a report of my follicles for me:

Basically, all it says is that I have a 16mm follicle in each ovary, and some other smaller ones trailing behind, and that my lining is 14.1mm (the nurse told a visiting resident from NIH that it is perfect!).  She seemed to be very pleased with how everything is looking, and later my primary nurse called to say that my estrogen level is 1008 and that everything is looking great.  They are going to keep me on the same dosages and I go back tomorrow morning for another ultrasound and bloodwork.  I asked the nurse performing the ultrasound when they will likely trigger me (which is an intramuscular injection that Tom has to give me exactly 36 hours before they retrieve the eggs), and she said that they won't trigger me until at least four of my follicles are at least 18mm.  She estimated that it will take a couple of days, so it looks like the egg retrieval won't occur until, at the earliest Friday and at the latest Sunday.

We're now praying that the egg retrieval happens on Sunday, and that we do a 5 or 6 day blastocyst transfer (I'll explain more when we get there) so that the embryo transfer doesn't occur until Friday or Saturday of next week...thereby minimizing the time I need to be out of work.  I know that is really specific, but God has heard all of our prayers during this cycle, so I'm going to pray in faith!!! :)

Thanks again for your prayers and encouragement.  We are so blessed to have you in our corner!