content

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:12-13

Y'all...I'm content.

I mean, yeah, I still want things.

I want to keep nursing, even though everyone I know seems to be shocked that I still am. Even my sweet nurse friend was shocked -- she said she didn't realize that people still try and abide by the official recommendation to nurse for at least a year. I guess there's a stigma to nursing for a whole year, but it has been this amazing bonding time for me and G.

But I also want to give my sweet totsicles :) a chance at life, and my baby a chance at having siblings. Really, I feel like I would be robbing G of my undivided attention and love, but today I saw a birth story where the older brother was kissing his younger brother and it melted.my.heart. The relationship I have with my siblings is like no other, and I am so thankful my parents had so many of us. I want that for G. Me? I feel more than blessed to have G, and would be happy if he was our only. But I fear that he will be lonely if we can't provide a sibling for him.

I want sleep. I haven't slept in a year. Sleep-training has gone by the way-side, as vacay and sickness derailed it. G is back to sleeping in our bed, waking several times a night, and kicking me in the face when he's not awake.

But you know what?

I know the moments in a sleepless night are precious and the years are few. These moments, where G wakes in the night and needs me, are numbered. Some day, he will be independent and grown up (and that will evoke different tears from momma!), but for now, he needs me. And so, I will gladly, if not groggily, go to him and comfort him. It is my privilege as his momma to do so.

I know that even if G doesn't have siblings, he will be surrounded with so much love from his brothers and sisters in Christ. From his eternal family. And so, I pray for God's grace to fall on him. That he would know the love and joy that comes from being a child of God.

I know that nursing isn't the only bonding mechanism. My love for this boy runs deep. And I know he loves his momma. We're just going to have to find different ways to bond. :)

And all of this knowledge, this peace that is in my heart, is because, at the end of the day, God has given me perspective. I've been in need. I've had plenty. None of these things are permanent. What is important is the eternal and how we all fit in to the eternal.

And that, y'all, is why I can say I am content.

i have a dream

...of being a fabulously, witty, funny blogger who could quit her dayjob and get paid to blog...

...of throwing a really awesome first birthday party for my baby...

...of completing amazing DIY projects around my house...

...of cooking delicious and nutritious meals that knock G and Tom's socks off...

...of transforming into a totally fit and hot girl...

...of becoming a supermom who can juggle everything and having my kid adore me...

...and, frankly...these delusional dreams are pretty much the product of reading blogs.

Sometimes, I feel sad and inadequate after reading about other people's lives.

But then, I look at my life, and I think it pretty much rocks. I mean, I'm not any of those people I've described above, but I have an amazing family and awesome friends. A great job. A lovely home.

My life's not perfect. There are a lot of areas in which I could get better. But today, on this rainy Friday, I'm counting my blessings and thanking God for my life. All of it. Even the parts that we still need to work on. :)

Happy Friday!

my little poser

OK. So I know I promised some pics from the trip. But we're I'm tired. So...instead, please let me direct you to our so very wonderful and talented photographer's blog, where you can see a preview of our family's outdoor photo session...which you can see if you click right here.

Didn't YM do such a wonderful job?!?!?! I heart her.

Oh...and that kid is pretty darn cute. For the last couple of weeks, almost every time he sees a camera, he stops and smiles. What a ham!!!! I wonder who he got that from? Ha! Some might think it's Tom...but, actually, my mom said I was quite the ham as a little girl.

I can't wait to see all of the pictures...but the preview pics have me worried...I mean, how will I ever choose what to get printed??? ;)

Happy Friday!

guess who's back?

Hello, friends! Sorry for the long radio silence. We were on vacay in California, but I didn't really want to advertise that in the blogosphere for safety reasons. :)

Anyway, lots have happened. Lots of pics and lots of family lovin' on our little G. I'll be back to share some, hopefully tonight, but let me just say: it is a MAJOR understatement to say that traveling and recovering from jetlag while with an infant is no freaking joke! Just ask my little G-man, who was wide-awake last night at 2:00 am, looking into my closed eyes and saying, "Umma?" <3

Gah. I love that little boy. :)

how to be an american housewife

I recently joined the BlogHer Book Club and my first review is of a book called How to be an American Housewife by Margaret Dilloway. :)

In How to be an American Housewife, Shoko, a Japanese woman who married an American man, Charlie, after WWII, recounts her life story from the time she was a young girl in WWII Japan. Throughout her life, Shoko struggles with balancing her true desires and the world's expectations, especially with respect to her relationship with her brother, Taro, and her daughter, Sue. Because of a heart condition that is causing Shoko's health to deterioriate quickly, she feels the urgency to reconnect and find forgiveness from her long-estranged brother. She also finds herself wishing she and Sue had a better relationship. But because her health will not allow her to go to Japan, she enlists the help of her reluctant daughter to find and deliver a letter to Taro.

The story then turns to Sue, a 30-something single mother, who feels like she could never make her mom proud of her. She feels aimless in her career and in her life in general. But, as she travels to Japan, she begins to understand a whole new side of not only her mother, but of herself as well.

Obviously, I can relate to Sue as a woman who has lived torn between two cultures -- my Asian heritage and parents versus the American society I grew up in. In many ways, I felt like I could never please my parents enough, no matter what I did. And yet, as I grew older, I began to see that their way of being "proud" and loving me was so very different from how "Americans" show the same affections. It wasn't until I was older that I learned more about my Korean heritage and started appreciating it fully.

The book is a quick and easy read. However, I did find Shoko's "outward voice" difficult to read. I can appreciate the author's desire to remain true to Shoko's broken English, but I have to admit that I felt like it was a caricature of a non-native speaker. I guess my expectation might be a little different because my parents' English, while not perfect, is much better than that of Shoko. I think it bothered me even more because of its constant juxtaposition to her first-person narrative, which was in perfect English. Regardless, I think the story was a beautiful one about identity, relationships, and forgiveness.

I was compensated for this BlogHer Book Club review, but all opinions expressed are my own.