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Happy New Year (almost)!

Well, 2010 is almost history.  What a difference a year makes...last year, I rang in the new year with arms longing to hold a baby.  I was still hopeful to be a mommy, and yet, I found myself preparing myself for another year of disappointment...you know, just in case.

This year, I am holding my beautiful son and wonderful husband.  I'm a new mommy, and I'm preparing to spend the first wee hours of 2011 awake with G.  After so many years of waiting, I almost have to pinch myself because I can't believe it's real.

I have so much to be thankful for...my family, my friends, my church, my job, and I could go on and on.

I have a sneaking suspicion that G is going to want to eat very soon and that I might be sleeping when the clock strikes midnight.  But there's nowhere else I'd rather be.

Wishing you all a joyous and blessed 2011!

our very merry christmas

Hi folks! I can't believe Christmas has already come and gone, and we're getting ready for the new year!

Helen eemo arrived Christmas eve, the rest of my family arrived Christmas day, and they all met G for the first time.

We opened the presents that were under the tree:

G got his very own chair from me and the hubs:

And we took our annual Mun family photo:

All in all, it was a wonderful Christmas. I've always loved Christmas, but having G around this year made it even more special.  I look at him and can't believe he's my son...I feel so incredibly blessed to be able to experience motherhood, and that I get to mother G!

Of course, the true reason for the season is the birth of our Savior.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given; and the government shall be upon his shoulder, and his name shall be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.  Of the increase of his government and of peace there will be no end, on the throne of David and over his kingdom, to establish it and to uphold it with justice and with righteousness from this time forth and forevermore. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this.  Isaiah 9:6-7

Hallelujah!  Amen!

I hope you all had a fabulous Christmas.  The Ros wish you all a blessed new year!

Welcome ICLW!

Happy ICLW!  For those of you who don't know what ICLW is and are curious, read more about it here. 

I haven't done ICLW since August, when I achieved Iron Commenter status. :)  Since then, our baby, Grant arrived in November after 5 weeks of bedrest.  I'm currently on maternity leave, enjoying my new little one.

Our baby arrived after 4+ years of primary infertility, so I know how hard it can be to read pregnancy and parenting blogs, especially during the holidays.  So, if this blog is not something you can read, I totally understand.  But if you'd like to know more about our journey, click on the tab above and read all about it!

our first month :)

Dear Grant,

Happy one month, my baby boy!  I can't believe it's already been a month since you made your grand entrance into the world and completely captured my heart.

Notice that daddy is the only one who doesn't look completely wiped out in our first family picture?  He looks so handsome and has the new daddy glow.  :)  He's stayed home with us for the first month, and watching him with you has made me fall in love with him all over again.  He's such a great father!  You're going to love getting to know him.

We had some rough times this month.  The first two weeks, we battled the breastfeeding monster together.  But we beat that nasty monster, and I'm proud to say we're exclusively breastfeeding now!  Good job, baby!  You love eating...and sometimes I feel like all we're doing is feeding your hungry tummy...I'll admit that it's hard sometimes because I'm so tired, but I feel so lucky to be able to feed you and help you grow.  It may sound weird, but I LOVE hearing you gulp down milk.  It warms my heart.  Weird, I know.

You've started to smile and interact with us more.  I can't wait until we start interacting more and we get to see more of your personality.

Grant, we celebrated your first Thanksgiving only days after you were born.

We were really lucky to be able to spend it with Halmuhnee, Jen eemo and Jeannie eemo.  One thing we've been really blessed with is a great family.  I can't wait until you meet your other grandparents, aunts and uncles.  You're a lucky kid to have such great people in your life!

I could not think of a better time for you to be born, because we are SO thankful to God for giving us the privilege to be your parents.  I hope you know that many many prayers were said for you years before you were born, and you are our living testimony of God's grace and faithfulness.  Over the past month, so many of aunties and uncles who prayed for you came by to visit.  Again, I can't tell you enough how lucky you are to have these people in your life!

This month, you saw your first snow (that's Appah and Scout clearing the snow, while we snuggled inside):

You also met Santa:

Speaking of Santa, your first Christmas is right around the corner.  Christmas is a season of hope and joy.  Unfortunately, for many people who want so badly to be mommies and daddies but are having a hard time bringing home their babies, it is a hard season.  I know how lucky we are to have you in our arms this Christmas, and I'm praying for all my friends out there who are still waiting for their babies with great hope in our God of miracles.

You're growing so fast before our eyes, and I'm trying to cherish every (sleep-deprived) moment we get together.  It's been fun getting to know each other.  I love your little fingers and toes.  I love the way your breath smells.  I love looking into your beautiful eyes.

I love you for so many reasons, and more than words can express.  Happy one month, my baby!  I'm looking forward to many many many many more!

Love,
Mommy

it's beginning to look a lot like christmas!

Friends, I love this time of year.  Christmas is such a wonderful time of the year...first and foremost because we get to celebrate our Savior's birth.  My cousin put this line from "O Holy Night" as her facebook status, and it's one of those lines that just give me the chills whenever I hear it:

"A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!"

Yes.  YES!  YES!!!

Oh goodness.  I love Christmas.

For the past two years, I put up two trees...one in our living room and one in our family room.  But this year, due to my precious little one and our precious little sleep, I could only manage one tree (much to Tom's great delight--bah humbug!).

Hmm...I feel a story (with pictures!) coming on...

'Twas many nights before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except maybe a Scout:

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care:

In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there (to fill the awesome Santa bags that Auntie A got for G and S):

The child was nestled all snug in his (makeshift) bed, while visions of sugar plums danced in his head:

Hehe.  That was fun.

We ventured out to see Santa at the mall.  G was so excited to see Santa that he fainted when he actually saw Santa:

My sister saw the pic and said, "Either that is the smallest baby or the giantest Santa ever."

Yes and yes.

Isn't he a very convincing Santa?  Oh...of course he's the real Santa! :)

We also picked up our very first ornament with G in our family:

Oh, and it looks like we might have a white Christmas, because it snowed a couple of inches yesterday!

Which means Tom and his trusty sidekick Scout had shoveling duty.

While I stayed in and snuggled with this cutie:

Who turned 3 weeks a week ago:

And although he is 4 weeks today, I won't post his 4 week pics because I'm moving on to monthly pics with the blocks - so we'll take a one month picture on Sunday.  Don't worry...Grandma checks this blog so we'll have other pics without the blocks. :)

Phew, that's all folks.  G has been going through somewhat of a growth spurt over the past few days, so we haven't been getting much sleep, so I'm wiped.  Gonna try and catch some zzzs before he wakes up for his next feed.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

letting go

Oh dear, it's been quite a while since I've posted anything. Part of it is because of the lack of time and fatigue, part of it is writer's block. It's hard for me to believe that I've been having such a hard time finding things to write about, because so much has happened....and yet, I think the exhaustion and the fact that everyday has sort of felt like "Groundhog's Day" has something to do with it.

Anyway, I am loving being a mom. It's not at all like I expected it to be...it's a lot harder and a lot more rewarding than I ever could have imagined it. Grant has completely stolen my heart and I love him in a way that I didn't know was possible.

But yeah...it's HARD. My friend J suggested the topic of "what I wish I had known" or "what is most surprising" and I have to say that the one thing that sticks out in my mind is the subject of breastfeeding.

Before Grant was born, I said that I'd be OK if I didn't breastfeed. I think of all those commercials for formula that say something like, "Breastmilk is best, but for all your other needs trust [insert formula brand here]." I've seen some of my friends beat themselves up over not being able to breastfeed, and I told them and myself that I just wasn't going to do that to myself. After all, I was raised on formula, and I turned out fine.

Well, my friends, I confess: I have cried many many tears over the last few weeks because breastfeeding is so hard. Actually, the word "hard" doesn't even capture the whole experience. I read things beforehand...and let me say, the "experts" have lots of opinions that seem very reasonable.

Don't feed formula supplements in a bottle.

Don't use nipple shields.

Don't give a pacifier.


I tried so hard to avoid violating all of those cardinal sins. I tried. But Grant had jaundice and was losing weight, and the only way to get rid of the jaundice and bring him home was to feed him formula. Did it backfire? Yes and no. We were able to manage his jaundice and he gained weight. But he did not want to breastfeed at all. Which was totally understandable because drinking from a bottle is so much easier than drinking from the breast.

Let me tell you, I never thought the mere sight of bottle nipples would stir crazy amounts of resentment in me. But as I cleaned them night after night for the first week, I looked at them with such disdain because Grant soooooo loves his bottles and he cries like I am torturing him about 50% of the time we breastfeed.

But, I stuck with it and saw a lactation consultant who suggested nipple shields. The "experts" say not to use it, especially long term...but it made a world of a difference and has made breastfeeding possible where it wasn't happening before. We still have our little battles, but we haven't touched a bottle since!

Then came our marathon 2.5 hour nursing session. Puzzled and overwhelmed, I issued a plea for help on facebook, and someone said he is probably a comfort sucker. The "experts" say that you shouldn't introduce a pacifier until at least 1 month...but it's been a lifesaver for us.

It occurred to me that this is one of the first of many lessons I need to learn as a parent: to let go of my expectations and, more importantly, others' expectations. It's hard to not feel like there's only one right way to do things. A lot harder than I thought it would be. But, we are figuring things out for ourselves and doing what works for our family. Sure, Grant and I continue to have tearjerking breastfeeding moments, but then he looks up at me with his beautiful eyes and all of it just melts away.

Well, I've managed to write a novelette. I guess to reward you, I'll leave some pictures of my little baby's first two weeks...he's cute...but hey, I'm his mama...I'm supposed to think that. :)

Thanksgiving Day...food, football, and family!

 

 

 

 

Grant at 1 week

Grant at 2 weeks

Grant and his buddy Scoutie

Uh oh, the G man is crying.  Time to feed!!!  Until next time....